


A Rose By Any Other Name

by scatteringmyashes



Category: Beauty and the Beast (1991), Disney - All Media Types, Disney Princesses, Mulan (1998)
Genre: Activism, Alternate Universe - High School, Disabled Character, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-17 02:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8126356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatteringmyashes/pseuds/scatteringmyashes
Summary: Mulan and Belle have many differences. While Mulan is engaged is as many sports as possible, Belle is unlikely to go for a simple jog. And though Belle enjoys reading books written before the 1900s, Mulan would much rather marathon The Walking Dead. Still, they are entwined by their affection for each other, something new and blossoming but very much real and part of their life. Already, Mulan cannot image a life without her girlfriend. 
Then Belle breaks her neck and everything they had taken for granted is called into question. It is not a matter of whether their relationship will survive the change, but if they can.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was a commission for [wombatking](http://wombatking.tumblr.com) and even though it isn't my usual fandom, I had a lot of run writing this and am happy with how it turned out. 
> 
> Check out my [writing blog](http://thepoetofjustice.tumblr.com) and commission me :)

“I can’t believe you brought a book to the pool,” Mulan gripes, though she’s not surprised at all and she really doesn’t care as much as she makes it sound like. Belle rolls her eyes and links arms with her girlfriend. Mulan is all lean muscle from playing soccer and years of karate while Belle is all soft curves, leaning towards the pudgy side. Though some might be self-conscious about the difference, Mulan makes it a point to ensure that Belle knows that she’s beautiful no matter what size her dresses are.

_Beautiful, just like your name,_ Mulan often says. Belle rolls her eyes and pretends that she doesn’t find it the most romantic thing. 

The two started dating towards the end of last year, right as finals were drawing close. Mulan’s parents, who really wished that she was more interested in math and science than running around playing sports, hired Belle as a tutor to make sure their daughter passed with the highest grades possible. That isn’t to say that Mulan got bad grades, she just isn’t as book-smart as Belle.

Then again, no one is on the same level as the girl who walks around with her nose in a book and probably is better read than some of the teachers.

And while plenty of studying had happened, a bit of a whirlwind romance had also taken place. Mulan found herself enchanted by every word that came out of Belle’s mouth, forming a new love of British and French literature that she would never have even considered if not for the clever commentary Belle could provide. Meanwhile, Belle was inspired by the stubborn nature Mulan displayed, the fact that she never gave up. Whether it was trying to get on the boy’s soccer team or get an A on her calc final, Mulan seemed determined to reach her goal no matter what. 

Still, they might not have gotten together if not for the minor interference of one of their mutual friends. Aladdin, a rather observant young man who has a propensity to get involved in things that may or may not be his business, had seen the way Belle and Mulan talked before the last soccer match of the season. 

“I know you’ll win,” Belle had said, smiling her million-dollar smile. She had never gone to any other sports game before, not finding them very entertaining, but Mulan had convinced her to come to this. 

“Eh, we’ll see.” Mulan grinned back, a wolfish look not unlike the one she got on her face when looking at someone trying to stop her from scoring a goal. “When I make a goal, I’ll look for you and point, so be sure to cheer extra loud ok?” Mulan added, managing to say it off-hand as if it wasn’t a big deal.

Aladdin practically choked on his pre-game Gatorade. After, when the team had won thanks to the two goals Mulan made, Aladdin confronted Mulan and told her to _just fucking ask Belle out before she gets the wrong idea._ Mulan had laughed it off and told Aladdin that he was talking out of his ass, he was seeing feelings that weren’t there, and that he should worry more about his own relationship.

Still, it had planted the seed in Mulan’s brain and she couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, Belle felt the same way. _I’ll never know unless I ask,_ she kept telling herself. To make it even more difficult, Belle had never been in a relationship before, with a guy or a girl, and Mulan didn’t really know who could give her advice. She asked around as much as possible, but no one had answers.

“Just ask her,” Meg had suggested. “Worse comes to worse, it’s a bit awkward for a few days. But best case scenario, she likes you back and you start dating. Just keep the gooey, relationship stuff away from me.” There was something ironic about the aromantic girl giving Mulan advice, but she took it to heart. 

After Mulan had taken her last final, a brutal chemistry test, she had tracked Belle down and asked her out. 

Now they had been dating for four months, quickly finishing up their fifth, and Mulan couldn’t have been happier. 

“I won’t read it unless I get bored,” Belle promises as the two walk into a patch of shade. They drop their stuff off; Mulan brought a towel and some sunscreen because Belle always forgets to put any on, while Belle has a small bag. “Did you bring any sunscreen? I think I forgot mine,” Belle asks. Mulan faithfully rubs it onto her girlfriend’s back.

“One day you need to come up with some machine to help you remember things,” Mulan teases. 

“It already exists and it’s called iCalendar,” Belle grumbles. Mulan laughs and finishes coating Belle’s back by putting a dot of sunscreen on the brunette’s nose. “Wha-- excuse you!” Mulan just laughs again and pulls off her shirt, throwing it aside and running into the pool. 

She cannonballs in and when she surfaces, she’s only a little disappointed that the splash didn’t hit Belle. Mulan waves to her girlfriend and can’t help but feel a surge of happiness seeing her standing there in a sleek yellow one-piece, something Mulan got for Belle on a whim. Belle refuses to wear a bikini for reasons that mystify Mulan, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t look amazing. 

_I’m the luckiest girl alive,_ Mulan thinks as she starts swimming away from the edge so Belle can jump in. At first it looks like she’s going to cannonball in too, but at the last possible second Belle changes her mind and dives in. Mulan laughs and stops swimming, treading water and waiting for her girlfriend to resurface. 

Nothing happens. There’s a few kids splashing around on the other side of the pool; it’s a community space, so it’s unusual that it’s almost empty. Mulan decides that Belle is just playing a trick on her and starts swimming a little bit away from where the brunette dove in, half-expecting Belle to lunge out of the water and try dragging Mulan under. 

When that doesn’t happen, Mulan begins to get worried. She is quick to paddle back to where her girlfriend disappeared and feels her heart stop breathing. Everything slows down; the passing of time, the sound of birds, the soft touch of the water. Belle is floating there, unmoving, hair billowing out around her like some kind of fog. 

Knowing that this is too far for a joke, Mulan forces herself to remember what she learned in first aid and shouts for someone to call 911. She doesn’t turn to look to see if anyone is, her mind and world narrowed down to the sight in front of her. It’s hard to breathe, her chest is constricting but she has to remain calm in order to help Belle. Mulan is able to pull Belle out of the pool, hours on the soccer field and in the gym coming in handy as the two make it back to dry land.

Belle’s chest is heaving and Mulan feels a little wave of relief as Belle coughs up water, the liquid pooling around her chest and dripping off. Mulan cradles Belle’s head and grabs her hand, squeezing before belatedly realizing that she might be making things worse. 

“You’re going to be ok,” Mulan promises. Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees that someone is on the phone. From their expression, it’s clear they know something has gone horribly wrong and that the ambulance is on its way. Mulan tells Belle and holds her hand up, kissing the back of it in an attempt to be reassuring.

“I can’t feel my hands,” Belle gasps, eyes wide. “I can’t feel my hands, Mulan, I can’t feel my hands!” It’s hard not to recognize the sign of a panic attack, something Mulan has seen in teammates and friends many times, but now she has no idea what to do. Mulan is known for having a level head, for being able to stay calm during an emergency, but this is something she has never been trained for. 

She’s never had a girlfriend, never had to comfort one, never known what to do if someone can’t feel their hands. 

“The paramedics are on their way,” someone behind Mulan says. She doesn’t turn to look. She continues murmuring comfort to Belle, telling her that this is going to be ok, that she’s safe, that nothing else will happen to her. Belle’s breathing is erratic for reasons unrelated to the water and Mulan can feel Belle’s heartbeat in her palms.

“Belle, I need you to take deep breaths,” Mulan tells her, mind grasping at straws. “Baby, I need you to breathe in with me and exhale with me.”

“I can’t,” Belle half-sobs, tears falling from her eyes. Mulan brushes some away, but they just spring back. “Mulan, I can’t feel my toes or my fingers. I can’t feel anything.” Unsure of what she can say, what she could say, Mulan doesn’t even try. She just stays there and runs her free fingers through Belle’s hair, not letting go of her hand. Even if Belle can’t feel it, Mulan can and it helps ground her when it feels like the whole world is spinning. 

The EMTs arrive and one of them pulls Mulan away, starts talking to her and finding out what happened as the others swarm around Belle. In their bright uniforms, Mulan can’t help but think that they look like a swarm of bees, a hive mind working in tandem. She tells the paramedic that Belle is allergic to wasps. The woman writes it down and then asks Mulan what her relation to Belle is.

“We’re dating,” Mulan replies. It’s written down. Behind her, Belle is being put on a stretcher and loaded into the ambulance. “Can I go with her?” Mulan asks. Now that the professionals are here, she feels a sense of calm. Things will be ok. They can help fix whatever is wrong, they know what they’re doing. 

“Yes. Did you bring anything with you to the pool?” The paramedic asks. Mulan thinks about the book and the sunscreen. She nods and motions to where Belle’s bag and their towels are. Someone grabs them while another person leads Mulan into the ambulance.

At the hospital, Mulan calls Belle’s father, Maurice, and then her own parents. They come in a rush, Maurice in a beat-up pick-up truck that he fixed with Belle when she was five and could barely hold the toolbox. He runs in past Mulan and has to be pushed back by nurses. They tell him he can’t come in. Mulan wants to comfort him, but she isn’t sure how. 

She doesn’t think she can.

Eventually a doctor comes out and talks to all of them. Mulan’s mother is talking to Maurice and Mulan’s father is trying to convince Mulan to change out of her swimming suit. She’s still wearing it and it’s freezing, but she doesn’t want to leave. If Belle needs her and she isn’t there, Mulan isn’t sure if she could forgive herself.

A doctor comes out and talks to them and tells them that the C4 vertebrae is damaged, the spine that is, that it’s extremely unlikely that Belle will ever walk or use her arms again. 

“She can’t feel anything below her neck,” the doctor admits. It comes out soft, as if it’s some dark secret, and Mulan wants to scream. It’s her fault, after all.

Belle is surprisingly cheerful about it all. She smiles and promises that she’ll manage, that she’ll get better. Mulan wants to apologize and she gets as far as to open her mouth before the words shrivel up in her throat. There is no question of what she’s about to say, now that the doctors and nurses and family have gone and left them alone for a moment.

“There is nothing you need to apologize for,” Belle reassures her. “This is not your fault.” She gives Mulan a small smile and that just about breaks Mulan’s heart. “I would do it one hundred times, if only I could stay with you.” Mulan realizes that Belle is terrified. She is terrified of what will happen, of what might not happen, of how uncertain the future is. 

But above all else, Belle seems to be most concerned over whether Mulan will stay with her or not and that is what breaks Mulan’s heart. She grabs Belle’s hand, knowing that Belle cannot feel it but needing the physical contact herself, and looks Belle right in the eyes. 

“I will not leave you because of this. You are still my Belle.” Mulan reaches up with her free hand and brushes a few errant pieces of hair off of Belle’s face. “You’re so beautiful, just like your name.” It pulls up a smile and they both ignore the way Mulan’s eyes are tearing up, the way she needs to leave as soon as their parents get back to blow her nose and dab at her eyes. 

There will be time for Mulan to cry. Now, however, it is Belle’s turn.

Thankfully it’s summer and Mulan can spend her free time at the hospital. Belle is moved to a specialty clinic for spinal injuries and while Maurice is ferried around by Mulan’s parents and loving if overbearing grandmother, Mulan stays by Belle’s side as much as she is allowed. 

Physical therapy is grueling, especially since there are no visible results. Belle continues going, though, and soon it just becomes part of her routine. She doesn’t talk about it much, but Mulan is no slouch and does some private research. She’s both glad and angry that she isn’t there with Belle; she isn’t sure she could stay strong for her during that. 

“It’s going as well as can be hoped,” Belle tells her worried friends as they visit, one at a time to avoid overwhelming her as she slowly recovers from what injuries can be healed. Jasmine nods and puts a straw in a cup of tea without being told, something Mulan is thankful for. Belle is going into week two and a half of therapy. Nothing has changed. 

“You are the strongest person I know. Still, you are in our prayers and if you are ok with it, I will ask the Imam at my mosque to include you as well,” Jasmine suggests. Belle might not keep kosher, but she still had a bat mitzvah and goes to temple every weekend. Still, she appreciates the sentiment and tells Jasmine that she can if she wants. 

Mulan doesn’t believe in any kind of god, least of all one that would let this happen to Belle. The only thing that keeps Mulan from being openly bitter in the face of everyone sending their prayers is the fact that it has been many years since Mulan has believed; this single event does not change anything.

“I wanted to bring some of the birds, but the hospital said it would be unhygienic,” Snow admits when she comes. She’s brought a few tiny sandwiches, easy to eat in one bite, which Mulan appreciates. Belle is going into week four of therapy. Nothing has changed.

“You’ll have to tell them I miss them,” Belle replies. She always has been much better with animals than Mulan. Except for the time Mulan went horseback riding on a school trip and the lizard that she keeps in a tank at home, she’s never had a pet in her life. Belle, on the other hand, had a dog as a kid and loves all animals. She’s constantly going over to Snow’s house in order to spend time with them. 

Idly, Mulan wonders if that will still be possible. Then she realizes that she is thinking as if Belle will not get better. Mulan shakes her head and says that she has just been tired lately, that her concentration is poor, when Snow asks if everything is ok. It’s better to lie than to admit that she doesn’t know what she’ll do if Belle doesn’t fully heal. 

Not like it would change how Mulan feels about Belle, but it would make the guilt worse. She stays by Belle’s side out of affection, yes, but also out of a sense of duty and Mulan is not naive to deny that. She wants to help Belle as much as possible, for selfish and selfless reasons. Mulan supposes that does not make her a horrible person, just a normal one.

Over dinner, Mulan’s mother says she hears that Maurice is starting to make changes to the house, shifting things so that someone in a wheelchair can get around. There’s a specific kind, one called a sip-and-puff that allows a person to control their movement using a straw. It’s a bit expensive, but Maurice is loved by the community, if considered a little odd. Money, for the time being, is no problem.

“She’s being released so soon?” Mulan’s father asks, surprised. Immediately they all think about the narrow hallways, the sudden turns, the single step up to the front door. Their house is great, warm in the winter and cool in the summer, and Mulan loves the backyard but the last word Mulan would use to describe her home is “accessible.” 

“We’ll find a way to manage,” Mulan’s mother says, knowing what is going through all of their minds. Mulan sighs and continues eating her pork. That night, she takes a few photos of Mushu, her pet lizard, eating mushu pork. Belle thinks it’s funny; no matter how many times Mulan shows her pictures, she still laughs. 

Mulan goes to the hospital the next day with her laptop and a few new books to read to Belle. She shows Belle the photos of Mushu the lizard eating mushu pork. Belle laughs. For a moment, things are ok. 

Belle starts to learn how to use the wheelchair. They’ve given up on her legs, at this point, but there’s still some hope for her upper body. Still, Belle has to learn how to use a mouthstick to type on a laptop or phone, to help turn pages in books.The doctors tell Belle that this is only for the time being, that people have recovered from similar injuries over long periods of time, and that she just needs to learn to not need her hands until her situation changes. Belle is a fast learner and soon Mulan does not need to be there to read to her, or to catch her up on messages, or any number of small things.

She still comes to the hospital every day. Mulan doesn’t want to miss anything. More importantly, perhaps, she wants to be there for as much as possible. Even if Belle doesn’t necessarily need her, with the nurses and her father coming in as much as possible, Mulan likes eating meals together or watching silly Netflix TV shows. It’s like normal life, their previous life, even if Mulan has to feed Belle the popcorn and their cuddling is mostly one-sided. 

“I want to be here with you,” Mulan swears after Belle asks, once again, if she wouldn’t rather be out with her other friends. “Not just because you’re my girlfriend, but because you’re my best friend and I don’t want to be anywhere else. Promise.” It doesn’t fully convince Belle, Mulan can tell, and so she leans over and kisses the top of Belle’s head. 

“You don’t need to be here if you don’t want to,” Belle insists anyway. “I appreciate it, of course I do, but you have a life and I don’t want you throwing that away for me.” She sighs and shakes her head a little, her way of indicating she wants Mulan to give her a bit of space. Mulan hesitates; she wants to be there, she wants to convince Belle of the truth, she wants to surround Belle with love and support but… 

Mulan understands, a bit, about the need to feel independent. So she leaves for the day, promising to come back soon. 

“How’s Belle doing?” Shang asks as he and Mulan kick a soccer ball around. He’s the team captain and the only reason Mulan was given a chance on the boy’s team; Shang swore up and down she could compete. Now, of course, the two of them are the star forwards who are responsible for the team teaching finals for two years running.

“She’s ok,” Mulan says, passing the ball from one knee to the other. She doesn’t look at Shang. “How’re you?” The topic change is obvious and he accepts it without another word. It’s a good distraction, two hours of soccer, but when Mulan stands in the shower that night, she can’t help but feel sick. 

_It won’t be like this forever,_ Mulan thinks. _She’s ok. She’s alive and she’s strong and things are going to get better. They have to._

“It’s just, I feel like I’m going to be like this forever,” Belle says as week six comes to a close. “And I know that I’ll be ok. So many people are being supportive and that makes me happy but…” Belle looks at Mulan with wide, honest eyes. “Please, if you think you can’t handle this you need to tell me. I’d rather you leave now than later.” 

Mulan doesn’t even have to think about it. “No. I don’t care if you never walk again, because I’ll be here for you. You’re the best person in my life, Belle. And that isn’t going to ever change.” Belle smiles at her and Mulan kisses her. It’s soft and short and absolutely perfect. 

Belle goes home the next day. Mulan wheels her in while Maurice leads them around the house, explaining the adjustments that were done. The halls are just big enough for the wheelchair to get through and there’s a special lift so that Belle can reach the second floor. The chair isn’t particularly wide, but it’s tall enough so that there’s a neckrest so Belle can sit straight. It’s soft and as comfortable as can be, but some dark part of Mulan’s mind can’t help but think that it hardly matters. 

“I kept your room the same,” Maurice explains as they go up the stairs. Mulan is rubbing circles on Belle’s hand. The brunette hasn’t noticed, eyes too busy taking in the familiar surroundings and marveling at how she hasn’t been in her own house for over a month. “If anything needs to get changed, I can do it, but I wanted it to be up to you.”

“Thank you.” It’s maybe the second thing Belle has said upon arriving. She doesn’t say anything else as they head into her bedroom. Seeing it, Mulan realizes Maurice was completely serious. Belle’s golden swimsuit is on the bed as is the bag she brought to the pool, but otherwise it is exactly as Mulan remembers. 

There’s a copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ on the bedside table and a glass of water, half-empty, next to it. On her dresser sits a fancy carriage clock that Belle got from her grandma. It ticks away next to the equally fancy candlestick that has never been lit. Mulan has always found Belle’s taste a bit strange, some combination of French Renaissance style and the pink, fairy-tale princess aesthetic of a little girl who never grew up. Still, there’s nothing more _Belle_ than seeing a stack of books being used as a table for a tea set. 

“I’ll leave you two be. If you need anything, just shout,” Maurice says before disappearing out the door. Mulan looks at Belle. Her face is paler but her lips are set in a thin line and Mulan knows better than to suggest anything. Right now, Belle is in her thinking mood and nothing will dissuade her short of natural disaster. 

For some reason, Mulan isn’t expecting Belle to ask to be put on the bed, but that is what she requests. Mulan is many things and a loyal girlfriend, willing to help in any way possible, is one of them. She wraps one arm around Belle’s legs, right under her knees, and the other goes against her back. Years upon years of karate and soccer and general physical activity comes in handy and Mulan is able to lift Belle and casually place her on the bed. 

In her hospital gown, Belle stands out even more. It’s a pale blue that makes her skin look gray and seems to fade into the baby blue of her sheets. Belle’s hair is the only contrast, the rich brown frayed at the ends after such a long stay in the hospital. By Belle’s legs, ones that will probably never work again, the golden swimsuit seems to mock the two of them. 

Mulan casually nudges the swimsuit and bag aside and sits next to her girlfriend. It takes a moment, but Belle is soon resting against a truly impressive mound of pillows and is able to look over her whole room without moving her neck. There’s silence, the soft tick-tock of the clock all that reaches their ears. It would be nice, Mulan assumes, if she could get rid of the tension between her shoulders and the fear that Belle isn’t ready, that she should be back in the hospital where people can take care of her twenty-four/seven -- 

“Stop thinking,” Belle mutters, looking at Mulan. “I’ll be ok. It’s just a lot.” She tries to smile but Mulan can see through it in a heartbeat. That tugs on Mulan’s heartstrings but she doesn’t say anything; she’s never been the best with words, that’s Belle’s job. Where Mulan is willing to resort to her actions and yes, her fists, to get a message across, Belle has always been able to spin wonderful stories out of nothing. That’s why Belle is going to go to college on academic scholarship while Mulan is relying on her athletic ability. 

_She’s still going to college, right?_ Mulan finds herself thinking. She pushes that aside. That’s for another day, another task to confront and build towards. If anyone can, Belle can. She isn’t necessarily known for being stubborn, but anyone who’s had a conversation with her about feminism or LGBT rights knows that once Belle has an opinion, very little will change it. That’s one of the things Mulan loves about her, after all.

“Can you read to me?” Belle asks. She’s able to do so herself, now, as long as someone sets everything up properly, but it’s still an ordeal and Mulan doesn’t blame her for not having the energy. 

“What do you want to read?” Mulan asks, thinking through the book they’re on. It’s something that isn’t really Mulan’s taste, some romance novel with far too many shirtless men and not enough shirtless women, but Belle seems to like it well enough. That is more important than anything else; Mulan would never, ever refuse Belle something that made her happy. 

“Could you read _Pride and Prejudice_ to me?” Belle asks, hesitance clear. They both remember Mulan’s rather lengthy tirade during one of their study sessions about how much she dislikes Victorian novels. Though her feelings have certainly changed, that doesn’t mean Mulan is up to voluntarily reading anything writing before 1990. “It’s much better than _Jane Eyre,_ I promise.” Mulan highly doubts that but she nods and grabs the book before moving to the other side of the bed.

She sits next to Belle, arms and legs pressed together, close enough so that Belle can rest her head on Mulan’s shoulder. Together, they’re just the right height for Belle to do this without hurting herself and Mulan loves the way Belle’s hair will tickle her neck. If it weren’t for the hospital gown and the wheelchair, the way that Belle can’t feel Mulan’s feet, then it would be just like before the accident. 

Mulan wonders if she’ll ever stop thinking of things as before and after the accident. She doubts it. 

Being at home is wonderful for Belle, but it’s also hard on everyone. Mulan doesn’t have a job and she doesn’t do any sports over summer, so she can spend as much time with her girlfriend, something that helps out Maurice. The poor man is overworked and unable to spend all day with his daughter, even though he very much wants to, without risking getting fired. And while his friends are generous to a fault, he still has pride and that demands he not ask for money unless absolutely necessary. 

“Do you want to watch something else?” Mulan asks as she notices Belle’s attention slipping from the TV. Belle is sitting as comfortably as possible in her wheelchair but there’s a strange expression on her face. “Or we can do something else. I can put music on and we can talk?” At being caught looking distant, Belle shakes her head and scowls. It’s so uncharacteristic, Mulan does nothing to hide her frown.

“Sorry,” Belle says not a moment later, morphing her expression back to its apathetic state. “It’s nothing, my nose was just itchy.” Mulan moves to scratch it, but Belle shakes her head. “No, it’s gone now. I’m fine.” Mulan hesitates but nods. She has to take Belle’s word for it, after all.

Being at home is terrible for Belle and it’s hard on everyone. Mulan can tell that being back home imbues Belle with a sense of longing. The fact is, this might be her home but it isn’t the same. She can’t run down the stairs when Mulan comes in and she can’t run her fingers over the soft couch cushions or slide in her socks across the kitchen file. Belle needs help doing everything and Mulan doesn’t find it degrading, frustrating, boring, or whatever else Belle fears but…

Well, Belle doesn’t seem to understand that. 

“Hey, let’s go to the zoo,” Mulan decides one day as they watch some weird kid’s TV show with talking puppets that are a total rip-off of Sesame Street. Belle looks at her and raises an eyebrow and Mulan can just see her gesturing to the wheelchair, except Belle can’t really do much gesturing anymore. “I’m serious,” Mulan continues, standing up. “It’s a Wednesday morning. No one will be there except a few kids. We can take my car and be there before lunch.”

“I haven’t been to the zoo since my third grade field trip,” Belle points out.

“Exactly. You’ll be able to see all of the changes.” Mulan doesn’t mention that she hasn’t been to the zoo in just as long, nor that she has no idea whether the place is even remotely wheelchair accessible. She assumes it has to be, since it’s a big draw for the entire state, but she doesn’t remember. It’s never been an issue before. “Are you feeling up to it?” Mulan asks, more than ready to sit back down and watch hours upon hours of bad TV if that’s what Belle wants to do.

Belle, it turns out, does not want to spend another day indoors and does indeed want to go to the zoo. The drive is only forty-five minutes and the place is wheelchair accessible, more or less, so the two are able to enjoy themselves. Mulan is ready to push Belle everywhere, but she points out that she needs to get better at steering herself before school starts. It’s still nerve-wracking to see Belle going around without help, but Mulan can’t help but feel a huge rush of pride seeing her girlfriend navigate through the walkways. Even if it isn’t busy, this is still a huge milestone.

Afterwards, they try to get out of the house as much as possible. Belle’s mood shifts and it’s obvious how bored she had been getting. They go to the zoo a few more times, seeing as it’s almost impossible for them to cover everything in one day, before switching to the different museums. But there are still the bad days, ones where Belle just shakes her head when Mulan asks if she wants to go outside. On those days, they sit together on the couch and watch TV or Mulan curls up around Belle and reads to her.

They finish _Pride and Prejudice_ and move onto _Sense and Sensibility,_ because Belle is really feeling the Jane Austen vibe, sitting in her room so often. Mulan reads it and only complains a little to Shang. He’s a good friend and offers to come over, help entertain Belle for a bit. After talking it over with Belle, Mulan opens to invites up to all of their friends, and soon there seems to be a bit of a rotation to let Belle see more than the same two or three faces.

It’s nice to have the company but one day after Quasimodo leaves, Mulan can see something in Belle’s expression. Mulan has noticed that Belle has become both more and less expressive, as if torn between letting her emotions out and hiding them all. But Mulan is nothing if not tuned to Belle’s needs and she can tell that Belle needs something.

“I miss tinkering,” Belle admits. “I have a lot of unfinished projects in the garage and now… well…” She trails off and Mulan frowns, understanding why Belle would be sad at the idea of not bringing something to completeness. Of the two of them, Belle by far has the better attention span; Mulan knows that she enjoys fast-paced, intense sports for a reason, while Belle is able to plan ahead of time and think more long-term than Mulan can. But Mulan has next to no understanding of even basic mechanics and the most complicated thing she’s ever put together was a 3D puzzle of the Statue of Liberty. There’s no chance she can put together some of the designs Belle was working on.

Hell, Mulan doesn’t even understand some of them, and Belle has tried to explain them to her multiple times. 

“I need books on mechanical design,” Mulan finds herself asking Quasimodo one day over facebook message. He sends her a starting list and says that he’ll help in any way Belle feels comfortable, guessing without being told why Mulan is suddenly curious. 

Mulan appreciates it and, not for the first time, is struck by how thoughtful all of their friends have been about the whole experience. She doesn’t want to say that she’s surprised, but she still didn’t expect them to go above and beyond. They’re good people, though, and Mulan feels a little guilty for not having confidence in them. 

It’s hard to find time to read by herself, between going places with Belle and spending time with her in general, but Mulan forces herself to keep slogging through them even when the words are spinning in her head and she isn’t sure if she even understands _Basic Engineering Principles_ or _Tinkering for Dummies._ When she brings it up to Belle, the possibility that they could keep working on some of her designs as long as someone else does the physical work, the brunette laughs. Not in a malicious way, because Belle isn’t truly capable of that, but in a half-surprised, half-denial way. 

“No one would want to help out that much. I guess you could ask Quasi or Ariel. Those two are good with their hands,” Belle considers after a moment. Mulan nods as if she was thinking the same thing. 

“I could do it too, y’know,” she replies. Belle raises an eyebrow. They both know that Mulan can’t really operate anything more complicated than her parent’s TV, but Mulan quickly explains that she’s been doing a lot of reading and she wants to help. It takes about ten minutes and every word that comes out of Mulan’s mouth makes her feel a little less sure. Belle’s expression has hardly changed, but if Mulan had to pick a word it would be confusion. That’s not really what Mulan wants to see, and she ends up trailing off, half-way through talking about how her parents now think she wants to be an engineer because they don’t believe her when she says she’s doing it for Belle. 

There’s a moment of silence and Mulan has the dreadful thought that she’s overstepped, that she’s just made everything worse by reminding Belle that she can’t do what she loves anymore, that Mulan is about to get yelled at and told to leave -- 

“You would do that for me?” Belle asks, swallowing. Mulan sees tears in her eyes. She can only assume they’re the good kind. 

“I would do anything for you,” Mulan replies. “I would fight an entire army for you.” She means it and Belle knows that, she really does, but that doesn’t stop the doubt from coming up and almost choking her. Belle is strong, though, stronger than ever before, and she’s able to push past it. Where before she would remain silent, let her thoughts stew, she voices them. 

“But why?” It’s not the first time she’s asked and Mulan knows it won’t be the last, but that doesn’t stop those two words from acting like daggers into Mulan’s chest. The Asian swallows and kneels down in front of Belle, cupping the sides of Belle’s face gently. 

Mulan’s hands are softer than one would think, not rough from karate or soccer, though the tan is dark against Belle’s white skin. It’s one of the few ways they can touch that Belle can feel and they take every moment to enjoy it. They both know how lucky they are that she’s still alive. Even when it’s hard, there’s never a thought that this isn’t worth it, that things won’t get better. Mulan has never worried that Belle might be depressed let alone suicidal, though the doctors of course had their doubts. 

They were unfounded, though. Belle has always loved life and nothing, Mulan imagines, could ever change that.

“You know how I say that you are as beautiful as your name?” Mulan begins. Belle nods, waiting to see where this is going before speaking. “I mean it. And I am not talking about your body. Because yes, you’re beautiful on the outside. Your hair is the softest I’ve ever touched and your lips are the warmest I’ve ever felt, but that’s not what made me fall in love with you. 

“I fell in love with you, Belle. The way your eyes light up when you’re talking about your inventions. The fact that you love to read Victorian novels in your spare time. All of your endless knowledge about mechanics or the feminist revolution in the sixties. How you can endure so fucking much and still be an amazing person. There is no one in the world I would rather be with.” Mulan is earnest and honest and in love and, really, there is no better combination. 

She raises one of Belle’s hands to her lips and kisses it. Though Belle cannot feel the brush of Mulan’s warmth against hers, Belle can still remember what it was like and it sends a different feeling up her spine and squeezes at her heart. Once again, Mulan has managed to make Belle forget what words are, how to form sentences. All thoughts have fluttered from Belle’s head except for one.

“I love you,” Belle says. 

“I love you,” Mulan replies. 

It’s not easy, after that. Even though Mulan tries her hardest, there are still times when she misunderstands what Belle is saying and does the wrong thing on a project, causing them to have to redo hours of effort. And Belle has bad days, ones where she does not even want to get out of bed or eat. It isn’t depression, not really, just fatigue and an unwillingness to put her loved ones through another day of work. Times like those are the most challenging and it takes all of Mulan and Maurice’s skill to convince Belle, day after day, that it’s ok. They’re doing this out of love, not obligation, after all. 

Mulan gets really good with a screwdriver and a drill and even a blowtorch. She really wants to know why Maurice has one, where he got it, but she never asks. Belle, for her part, finds herself rather ecstatic with how things turn out. The first time she and Mulan finish a project, a thing that’s a mix between an alarm clock and a lamp, she’s filled with trepidation and anxiety. Mulan feels the same. If it doesn’t work, she doesn’t know what she’ll do. 

But it works and they post a picture on facebook and it’s the first thing Belle has posted since her accident. Mulan knows it’s a bit silly to be so happy about, but she is and she decides that she’s allowed to be happy over little things so she is. That night, she goes and buys Belle a carrot cake, her favorite, and feeds it to her bite by bite. They curl up on Belle’s bed and fall asleep reading _Mrs. Dalloway._ Mulan might have a bit more of an appreciation for British lit thanks to Belle’s influence, but she still hates the book. 

Belle’s enjoyment, though, makes it worth it. 

A few more months pass. Mulan helps build more gadgets. Not all of them work properly; neither of them is in a hurry to forget the minor disaster that happened when Belle’s automatic water-boiling system, which was supposed to turn off once it was hot enough, kept going until it exploded all over the garage. Maurice understood, though, and the clean-up wasn’t too bad. Anyways, Mulan only got a few burns from it.

They don’t spend every day in the garage, of course. Mulan is rather insistent that Belle keeps going outside. Even as they start running out of places to go, Mulan spends hours digging online to find random museums or parks to visit.

They go to the museum of mining technology and a small park that’s no more than a few dirt paths and a bench. There’s an aquarium and it’s probably the least accessible place yet, with only a few elevators and ramps that are inordinate distances away from the doors they lead to, but Belle gets to see a dolphin show and Mulan buys her a book on marine biology, so it doesn’t matter too much. They enjoy themselves, that’s the point, and if it weren’t for the difficulty getting the wheelchair in the car or the trouble that comes with going to the bathroom, Mulan finds that she has started to not think of this as different. 

It’s normal, now, for Mulan to walk a little slower, to help guide Belle around trash or inconsiderate walkers. And it isn’t like Mulan didn’t hold doors open before or check to make sure that Belle was right beside her and didn’t get lost in a crowd. So yes, things are different and they will never be the same, but Mulan doesn’t really think of this as unusual. A few months of this life have helped.

Still, by the time August comes around, they’re both ready for a bit of a change. Belle’s been going to Temple again, pushed by her father when she’s too tired to navigate the narrow halls, and they threw a small fundraiser to help her get new school supplies. Mulan hadn’t even been thinking about that, but when Belle sees how they bought her a voice-to-text program for her phone and laptop as well as a tablet to help with notes, she cries. 

“Here’s your schedule. We’re so glad you’re back,” one of the nice ladies at the front desk says as Belle and Mulan make their way into the school. It’s a bit of a drag having to go up the zig-zag ramp just to get to the front, but Belle can’t exactly raise her chair up the four inches that make up the steps so the ramp it is. “If you need anything, just let us know.” Belle is infallibly polite as she nods, thanks the woman, and glances at Mulan. 

She steps out of the way, papers in hand, and reads aloud the schedule as they make their way around the halls. It isn’t nearly full, but there are just enough people that Belle almost runs into three before they even get to their shared zero hour. While Belle apologizes every time, Mulan just glares at them for taking up so much space. She wonders if it would be possible to adjust her schedule to be able to walk Belle to all of her classes, but Mulan knows that’s probably not allowed. 

Besides, Mulan _knows_ that Belle doesn’t need her. Even now, Mulan is mostly just a buffer against anyone who might not notice Belle. The brunette navigates past others as they walk to find their classes, meet their teachers, and get ready for senior year. Mulan is glad that they have a few periods together and not just because she knows she’ll need Belle’s help in AP biology. 

“Do you want to go to your classes and we can meet up in an hour at the library?” Belle asks. Mulan hesitates. Even though she knows that Belle is fine, Belle is strong, Belle is perfectly capable by herself… In practice, Mulan doesn’t know if _she_ is ok leaving Belle’s side. “I’ll be ok.” As if reading Mulan’s mind, Belle offers up a genuine smile. “Everyone here knows what happens and they’ll help me if I need it. Plus I can always call you.” The two of them had developed a handy way to attach Belle’s phone close to the straw on her wheelchair, the mouthstick resting with magnets just close enough for her to grab if she needs it.

Essentially, Belle can contact anyone whenever she needs. So Mulan swallows down her fear, not about to project on her girlfriend, and bends down to kiss her on the nose. Belle laughs and kisses Mulan back, but she can only reach Mulan’s chin from the angle they’re at. Mulan thinks it’s adorable.

“I love you,” Mulan says. Belle blushes and says it back. Mulan doesn’t even try to deny the existence of the butterflies that flutter in her stomach. 

Mulan finds her way to the rest of her classes, the ones she doesn’t share with Belle. She cuts across campus and doesn’t stick to the sidewalks and she feels guilty, but she is so much faster now that she doesn’t have to measure her paces against Belle’s wheelchair. _This school is about as accessible as Oedipus in the original Greek,_ Mulan finds herself thinking. She decides that her comparison because she had to listen to Shang go on a thirty minute rant about how much he hated AP Lit last year. 

By the time an hour has passed, Mulan has already met all of her teachers and figured out the best way to get to her classes and swing by her locker whenever she needs. She heads to the library a little late, figuring Belle will already be there with her nose in a book. Mulan has no doubt that Belle would be able to find someone to ask to help her out; after all, the school isn’t so big that people don’t know who she is. 

But when she gets there, the library is void of the familiar brunette and the soft _hum of the wheelchair’s engine, both things Mulan has become very well acquainted with. She wanders around the rows of books, just in case Belle is so preoccupied with reading that she can’t be bothered to find her way to a table, but she’s not there._

Feeling her heart start to speed up, Mulan pulls out her phone and sends a quick text to Belle. It’s just a simple at the _library <3_ but it makes Mulan feel a little better. After all, Belle will definitely text her back soon. 

The reply does come, but not until Mulan has completed three full circuits of the library and has successfully worked herself into a small panic attack. She knew this was a bad idea, that Belle needed help still, that they should have stuck together because Mulan can help, she really can -- 

_Im out front meet me there,_ comes Belle’s text. Mulan takes a deep breath and lets it out during a count of five. Then she shoulders her backpack and runs out of the library. 

Belle is sitting in her chair, the backpack full of syllabuses and papers the teachers felt the need to hand out, and tears on her face. Mulan immediately pulls Belle into a hug, kissing the top of her head, and asks what’s wrong. It takes a moment, but Belle recovers quickly, she always has. 

“I can’t get into the library,” she explains. “There’s no automatic door.” Mulan can feel the emotions rushing over Belle and she’s helpless to do anything other than hold her and rub circles on her back that Belle can’t feel. Mulan knew that the school would be difficult, that it was built decades ago before the ADA was even a concept in some politician’s mind, but she didn’t think that it would be this bad. 

She wants to bundle Belle into a soft blanket and hold her close and tell her that the world will change and be ok, but Mulan doesn’t do any of that. What she does do is push Belle back to the car, help Belle get into her seat, buckle her in, and drive away with the wheelchair in the trunk. Belle is quiet on the drive home, doesn’t even speak as Mulan pulls into the garage. 

They get all the way to her room when Belle asks if Mulan can set up her laptop for her. Mulan nods and quickly does so, adjusting everything and opening up the camera when Belle asks. It takes a moment, but with a book underneath the laptop is just high enough to capture all of Belle’s face. Then Belle asks Mulan to start the camera so it records a video and then leave. Mulan hesitates, a myriad of emotions running through her. 

“I just want to make a video. It’s been in my head for a while that I should do this, but… I finally know what I want to say.” Belle doesn’t sound uncertain or nervous or anything that makes alarm bells ring in Mulan’s head. So she nods and leaves, busying herself downstairs by doing dishes and cleaning up the living room a little.

Belle needs help uploading the video to youtube and setting up a profile; she could type it all out herself and navigate the website using her mouthstick, but it’s also a tedious process and Mulan is eager to help after the school fiasco. Once it’s uploaded and titled _A Quadriplegic Speaks #1,_ Belle gets on tumblr and puts a link there. It’s the first time she’s been on tumblr since the accident, Mulan realizes. Not like she was obsessed in the first place, but still. 

Mulan hopes that this is a sign that things are getting better. She sees, now, the mountain that they have climbed and the hills that still remain. It’s better than nothing, though, and Mulan knows she’ll be there for Belle no matter what. 

The video gets three likes and one reblog. Mulan adds a fourth like and a second reblog to it. Belle isn’t too discouraged. Instead, she’s caught up in the stress and chaos that makes up the first week of senior year. 

Somehow, it’s even worse than all of the other years, though Mulan supposes they should have seen that coming. Belle can’t keep anything in her locker because she can’t open it by herself and she refuses to rely on friends to help her. Most of the doors aren’t automatic; the only ones that are happen to be the very front ones, but everything else needs to be opened for her. The desks are placed too close together and Belle can’t see the board clearly from the back, not when there are taller people in front of her.

Overall, it’s stressful and frustrating and Belle talks about it every day to Mulan, who drives her home when she can or chats over skype when she can’t. Between writing college essays, getting good grades in all her classes, and helping Mulan get passing grades in hers, it’s hard to believe Belle has time for much more, but she keeps making her videos. The second gets six likes and two reblogs. The third even more. Robin, a self-proclaimed anarchist who wants to tear the system down and blogs about their ideas all the time, suggests that Belle start a secondary blog just to talk about disability activism.

“When are you posting these videos anyway?” They ask during lunch. Belle swallows one of the two protein drinks she has for lunch. Mulan has pointed out, multiple times, that she is more than willing to help feed Belle. The brunette always replies that she needs to be more independant, and _besides, they aren’t that bad._

“Whenever I’m done with them.” Robin shakes their head and steals a banana off of Gaston’s tray as he walks by. The football player, too busy talking to his friends, doesn’t even notice. 

“You gotta put it up when people are gonna see it. Between six and ten at night are the best times, trust me.” Belle and Mulan exchange a look, but Robin has already moved on to their next topic so there’s no time to ask more questions. Still, she makes a new blog with Mulan’s help, picking an accessible theme and making it easy to read and navigate for everyone.

The next time Belle talks about the school, this time complaining about an ableist teacher who keeps saying the wrong things, she waits to post it until it’s nine pm. This time it gets almost twice as much attention as the others, but it still isn’t a huge difference until a blog called _livingwithdisability_ reblogs it. 

Belle wakes up in the morning and she has over one hundred new followers. The number just keeps growing and Mulan could not be more proud of her. Every single bit of hard work has paid off and there is no one in Mulan’s mind who deserves happiness more than Belle. Mulan finds that she still needs to be there for her, but not in the same ways as she was. Belle can navigate her way around the house or through the park, she can read to herself on her laptop or watch youtube videos, but she can’t get into the library by herself and driving is impossible. 

The library is what really bothers Belle. 

“It wouldn’t be that hard to put an automatic door in,” she complains one day as they study in the relative quiet. Seeing as they are supposed to not be talking, Belle is whispering, but her annoyance bleeds through. Mulan nods. She had been thinking the same thing, only she hasn’t the slightest idea how to go about changing that. “Do you think… if I started a petition, would people sign it?” Belle asks.

Mulan blinks and thinks about it. “Yeah, I think they would.” It doesn’t hurt that Belle is universally adored by teachers and students alike, that their school is big enough that not everyone knows her but everyone has heard of her, and that the administration has been tripping over itself to make things as easy as they can. They’re still falling short in many ways, but Mulan knows that Belle appreciates their efforts. She just wishes that they could be a little more effective, that’s all.

That night, Belle drafts a petition while Mulan struggles through her bio homework. It could be like any other night, Mulan sprawled on Belle’s bed while the brunette is on her laptop, typing furiously away. The difference is that Belle is speaking into the laptop’s microphone, a program making adjustments to the open document, while Mulan does her best not to make noise that might confuse it. And, well, Belle can’t use her legs or her arms or feel anything below the neck. That’s a pretty big difference too. 

The petition gets published the next evening, right at seven o’clock. Belle puts it on tumblr, facebook, anywhere she thinks people will see it. She also talks about why the library is so important to her on her next vlog, her eyes lighting up as she enthuses about the wonders of books and how they have always fascinated her. It doesn’t take long for the petition to reach a hundred signatures, and then a thousand. Mulan is ecstatic to see how much support it gets from friends, family, and complete strangers; by the end of the week it’s over ten thousand, which is more than Belle ever imagined. 

A local news channel picks up the story and Belle is invited to the studio for an interview. Mulan wants to go, but she ends soccer practice right when Belle is supposed to get there. Belle promises that her dad can do it, that she’ll be fine. “Besides, you have to be in top shape so I can cheer for you when you win the finals again,” Belle tells her girlfriend. Mulan laughs and blushes. Every time she’s reminded of that day, she can’t help but marvel at how utterly unaware she was that Belle liked her back. Looking at it with hindsight, it’s obvious that their feelings were mutual. 

Mulan and her family watch the interview live, of course. Idly, Mulan wonders if Belle is wincing at anything the reporter is saying. The woman is trying her best and so far hasn’t made any serious blunders, but Belle is understandably less forgiving of mistakes than most. 

“Your school recently has announced plans to add more automatic doors, ramps, and other measures to make it more friendly for people in wheelchairs. Several other local businesses have also taken the pledge. It’s incredible how much you’ve done, especially considering you were not born with your disability. Can you tell us a little about what it was like, going to school and going home with this new part of your life?” Belle nods and begins to answer, not leaving any details out.

It’s definitely a point of pride when she mentions that her girlfriend helped a lot. Mulan will be sure to brag about that later, mostly at school where Belle can roll her eyes and pretend that she doesn’t mean every word of it. For some, such an accident would have destroyed their relationship. For Belle and Mulan, it only strengthened it. 

“How difficult, for you, was this transition?” The reporter asks, her interest genuine. Belle takes a moment to think about it and Mulan can’t help but think about how far they’ve come. To lying in a hospital bed, unable to do anything without help, to getting ready to go to college and graduate at the top of her class… There aren’t many people who could have done it. Mulan doesn’t think she could have.

But Belle is an extraordinary person. There’s never been any doubt about that, not in Mulan’s mind. 

“It was hard, I won’t lie. There were times when I didn’t want to get out of bed. But my girlfriend, who I mentioned, she has this thing she tells me.” Belle laughs and it’s so pure, so crystal clear even through the television, that Mulan’s heart melts a little. She really would do anything to hear that sound again and again. 

“She says that I’m beautiful, just like my name.” The reporter goes aw and Belle laughs. “Yeah, she’s a huge secret romantic. Anyway, one day, a really bad day for me, when I was just too tired and kept thinking that everyone should just leave me in bed because it’d be easier on them, I just didn’t want to do anything. We were watching TV and she mentioned, right out of the blue, that she would be willing to help me with my tinkering.” 

“The little inventions you make with her help,” the reporter clarifies. Belle nods. Mulan wonders if she’s sweating underneath all the make-up the station put her in. The stuff is supposed to make her look better or something, but it’s unnatural to see Belle in eyeliner and blush. They didn’t put her in anything too extreme, at least, Mulan notices.

“Yeah, those. Anyways, my girlfriend says that she’ll help me with them and I just didn’t understand why. But she explained and pointed out that what makes me, me, isn’t the fact that I can or cannot walk or move my hands. That’s just part of me. Most of me is what I like to do, what I’ll read or watch on TV. How I act when I get angry or happy or sad. And I’ve tried to hold onto that. Like, the reason I started blogging is because I get extremely passionate about things that affect me, and well… This really is part of my life now. 

“I know a lot of people will want to feel pity for me, or see me as some kind of inspiration, but I don’t like to think of it like that. This is just a natural progression of who I am. And I do think I’m lucky to have the support of family and friends and the community. So yes, it was a hard transition, but I’ve also had the best people in the world around me and I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Belle smiles at the camera and Mulan feels a few tears pool in her eyes. 

“Thank you so much. This is Belle Durand, a high school senior turned activist. She’ll be going off to college this fall and we know she’ll be an asset anywhere she is. Back to you, Jackson.” 

Mulan helps Belle set up a live stream the next week, a time when people can come and ask her questions. It’s just going to be an hour, nothing too strenuous, and Mulan will be in the same room so that if Belle needs anything she can just ask. “I’m sure some of my followers will want to meet you too,” Belle adds. “After all, I talk about you a lot.” Mulan laughs. She knows that, of course; she’s watched every single vlog at least twice. 

The first few questions are simple, pretty normal in all honesty. Belle answers them without difficulty. Finally, she pauses as she reads one. 

“What am I going to do next?” Belle wonders aloud. There’s a moment of silence and then she smiles, wider than Mulan has seen in over ten months. “Well, that’s an easy one. I’m going to change the world.” 

Mulan has no doubt that Belle will. She just hopes she can be there to see it, right by Belle’s side.


End file.
